W. David Phillips

1. I have no right to critique anyone if I can't first celebrate him. Celebration comes before critique. There is a musician's motto: three strokes for each poke. If I can't say three positive things about somone and lift him/her up with prayer and thanksgiving to God, I have no warrant for complaint.

2. I should not argue with anybody until I can state their position back to them in such a way that they approve. 

3. Listen to friends for confidence and courage but listen to enemies for wisdom and information. L.L. Bean uses this formula: there are twenty-five complains for every one you hear. Multiply every criticism you hear by twenty-five. That's the reality you live under. 

4. Recognize it's my choice: will I spread kudos or kudzu? Kudos are compliments. Kudzu are complaints and criticisms that spread...like kudzu. Kudzu eventually covers everything and chokes the life out of whatever it touches.

Len Sweet: SoulSalsa, 108.

The history of God's people is a history of life cycles, a history of clarity about call and identity, followed by complacence, followed by collusion with the powers, followed by catastrophic loss. Contrary to being a disaster, the exilic experiences of loss and marginalization are what are needed to restore the church to its evangelistic place. On the margins of society, the church will once again find its God-given voice to speak to the dominant culture in subversive ways, resisting the powers and principalities, standing against the seduction of the status quo. The church will once again become a prophetic, evangelistic, alternative community, offering to the world a model of life that is radically "other," life-giving, loving, healing, liberating. This kind of community is not possible for the church of Christendom. Christendom opposed prophetic community with its upside-down power and its exposure of golden calves.

Elaine A. Heath, Mystic Way of Evangelism, The: A Contemplative Vision for Christian Outreach, 26-27.

What do you think of Heath's assessment?

We must find the freedom to step over our wounds and the courage to forgive those who have wounded us. The real danger is to get stuck in anger and resentment. Then we start living as "the wounded one," always complaining that life isn't "fair."

Jesus came to save us from these self-destructive complaints. He says: "Let go of your complaints, forgive those who loved you poorly, step over your feelings of being rejected, and have the courage to trust that you won't fall into an abyss of nothingness but into the safe embrace of a God whose love will heal all your wounds."

Henri Nouwen: Here and Now: Living in the Spirit, 57-58

Leaders we admire do not place themselves at the center; they place others there. They do not seek the attention of people; they give it to others. They do not focus on satisfying their own aims and desires; they look for ways to respond to the needs and interests of their constituents. They are not self-centered; they concentrate on the constituent. . . Leaders serve a purpose and the people who have made it possible for them to lead . . . . In serving a purpose, leaders strengthen credibility by demonstrating that they are not in it for themselves; instead, they have the interests of the institution, department, or team and its constituents at heart. Being a servant may not be what many leaders had in mind when they choose to take responsibility for the vision and direction of their organization or team, but serving others is the most glorious and rewarding of all leadership tasks." ~

James Kouzes and Barry Posner in Credibility: How Leaders Gain and Lose It, Why People Demand It.

God is a jealous lover. He will not share you, so don't give yourself to anyone but him. He's unwilling to work in your will unless you're willing to be entirely his, and his alone. He's not asking for your help. He's asking for you. He want you to lock your eyes on him and leave him alone to work in you. Your part is to protect the door and windows, keeping out intruders and flies. And if you're willing to do that, just ask him, praying humbly, and he will help you immediately.

The Cloud of Unknowing, translated by Carmen Acevedo Butcher